Thursday, 26 May 2011

Untitled Blog Post

In spite of the fact that I obviously have, I feel like I haven't sat down in about a month. To outward appearance, I would seem to be at work three or four days a week, then sitting around watching television the rest of the time. This is only partly accurate; my time which is not spent at work is taken up with television (specifically Doctor Who and Game of Thrones), editing the first book (slowly and painfully), researching and writing the second book (not such a great idea to be writing two books at once I know, but I had to do something to take a break from the editing), and putting together an anthology of all the halfway decent poems I've written in the last four years (out of about sixty there are about twenty good ones).

In other words, I'm suffering from self induced chronic fatigue. Still, I do occasionally get out of the house; this weekend I was at Slimelight, London's foremost pit of goths and various other alternative freaks. On Tuesday I was in screen one of the Haymarket Cineworld watching Terry Jones (and by watching, I mean he was in fact in the room) introduce a screening of Life of Brian. Not all of my fun activities involve streaming geekish television shows on the internet and then blogging about them.

Although, talking of which (SPOILERS) wasn't it splendid when Viserys Targaryen got croaked? I forgot to include him on my list of 'Game of Thrones Twats Who Need to Die'. And, even better, it was revealed that Daenerys is in fact 'The Dragon', not her brother. Like there was ever a doubt in your mind, right girls? And almost as good as that, we now suspect muchly that the hideous munchkin Joffrey Baratheon is in fact the inbred offsrping of the Lannisters, and therefore NOT the heir to the Iron Throne, which in turn goes some way to explaining why Jon Arran was bumped off at the beginning of the first episode. Those dirty Lannisters have it coming. Now; in the next episode we want to see more of everyone's favourite bastard, Jon Snow. He seems to have been forgotten about for the time being, freezing himself to death at the Wall. Along with Tyrion Lannister and Daenerys Targaryen, he is one of the more intriguing characters in the series, and deserves a bit more screen time.

Monday, 16 May 2011

"You fell out of the Tall Tower, you creep!"

Warning: Nerdish Game of Thrones Update Ahead (SPOILERS)

We are now exactly halfway through the series and, although the world of Westeros is rife with juicy intrigue and general weirdness, no really significant events have yet taken place (other than, of course, Bran getting shoved out of the tower by Jaime and surviving only to suffer from amnesia, paralysis from the waist down and weird nightmares involving three eyed ravens). I'd like to see a couple of main characters - and by main I mean not henchmen, not even really important henchmen - get it in the neck. Specifically, I'd like to see the Lannisters' heads on spikes. Not Tyrion Lannister though, of course; we all need a drunken, sex-crazed, intellectual dwarf in our lives. But Jaime and Cersei, the arrogant twincestual social spider monkeys. They need to die, and they probably will; as soon as Robert Baratheon finds out his wife is sleeping with her brother, it'll be Goodnight Vienna.

And then I hope Robert gets it too, quite frankly; he's clearly gone a bit power mad in his old age, humiliating his servants and whatnot. Also, he's plotting to have Daenerys Targaryen killed, and that's just not on. Can't wait to see what Khal Drogo is going to have to say about that. Well, not so much say, as gut like a fish. I can't imagine he'll take too kindly to having his Khaleesi messed with. Daeny needs to get her arse in gear and do something with those dragon eggs. It's obvious something is going to happen with them; all those lingering shots of them bathed in significant candlelight. We've had enough of that now though - let's see some fucking dragons.

Also, when the hell is Winter going to finally Arrive? They've been talking shit about it forever, but it looks like Winter is all mouth and no trousers. Come on Winter, if you think you're hard enough.

......yeeesh. Alright, maybe I take it back...

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

One Does Not Simply Walk Into Winter

Here for your perusal is my dissection of a Nerdy Joke.

The highest rated comment on this Youtube video is possibly the most perfect example of The Nerdy Joke I have ever seen. It requires multi-faceted knowledge of epically detailed fantasy productions and their backgrounds on several levels.

One: You must be aware of both The Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones.

Two: You must be aware that Sean Bean stars in both of these productions (playing Boromir of Gondor and Lord Eddard Stark respectively who, even accounting for the fact that they are played by the same man, bear each other a striking resemblance).
Three: You must have knowledge of The Lord of the Rings which is detailed enough for you to remember one of Bean's more shining moments; the line "One does not simply walk into Mordor", spoken in exceptionally gravelly tones, head in hands, at the Council of Elrond.

Four: You must have enough knowledge of the plot of Game of Thrones to know that in the land of Westeros, Winter is a pretty big deal. It's an especially big deal to Lord Eddard Stark, who seems to take delight in striding about the unforgiving wasteland that is Winterfell and intoning "Winter Is Coming" with more gravity than you'd find in an orchard on Jupiter.

Only if you comply with all four of these requirements are you enough of a geek to appreciate the full glory of this particular Nerdy Joke. A truly great Nerdy Joke should be so obviously and utterly brilliant (to those in the know) that it will have you giggling arrogantly to yourself first and then banging your head into the wall second because you know you should have thought of it first.