Monday, 16 May 2011

"You fell out of the Tall Tower, you creep!"

Warning: Nerdish Game of Thrones Update Ahead (SPOILERS)

We are now exactly halfway through the series and, although the world of Westeros is rife with juicy intrigue and general weirdness, no really significant events have yet taken place (other than, of course, Bran getting shoved out of the tower by Jaime and surviving only to suffer from amnesia, paralysis from the waist down and weird nightmares involving three eyed ravens). I'd like to see a couple of main characters - and by main I mean not henchmen, not even really important henchmen - get it in the neck. Specifically, I'd like to see the Lannisters' heads on spikes. Not Tyrion Lannister though, of course; we all need a drunken, sex-crazed, intellectual dwarf in our lives. But Jaime and Cersei, the arrogant twincestual social spider monkeys. They need to die, and they probably will; as soon as Robert Baratheon finds out his wife is sleeping with her brother, it'll be Goodnight Vienna.

And then I hope Robert gets it too, quite frankly; he's clearly gone a bit power mad in his old age, humiliating his servants and whatnot. Also, he's plotting to have Daenerys Targaryen killed, and that's just not on. Can't wait to see what Khal Drogo is going to have to say about that. Well, not so much say, as gut like a fish. I can't imagine he'll take too kindly to having his Khaleesi messed with. Daeny needs to get her arse in gear and do something with those dragon eggs. It's obvious something is going to happen with them; all those lingering shots of them bathed in significant candlelight. We've had enough of that now though - let's see some fucking dragons.

Also, when the hell is Winter going to finally Arrive? They've been talking shit about it forever, but it looks like Winter is all mouth and no trousers. Come on Winter, if you think you're hard enough.

......yeeesh. Alright, maybe I take it back...

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