Review: The Monk

Dominik Moll’s The Monk, a French language version of Matthew Lewis’s classic gothic novel set in the 17th century, is a chilling supernatural tale full of striking imagery and significant symbolism. Starring Vincent Cassel (La Haine, Black Swan) as a respected Capuchin monk, the film follows his gradual descent into sin and examines the concepts of punishment, evil, and the Devil Himself...

Head over to Movie Farm for the rest of the review...

Prometheus Sequel Given the Go Ahead

I'm on holiday from my day job for the next two weeks, and intend on spending much of this time getting done with some serious writing, both fictional and film-related (although not nearly as much time as I plan on spending in the garden with a Hendricks and tonic in my hand).

I'll be going to Birmingham for a few days next week, and during that time I intend to visit the famous Electric Cinema, apparently the UK's oldest working cinema (probably for a repeat viewing of TDKR). According to well founded rumour, it also has a fully functioning Absinthe fountain; I imagine this to be pretty much the same as a water fountain, only greener. Expect a full account, with pictures, upon my return.

Meanwhile, here's a short piece I wrote for Movie Farm about the possibility of a sequel to Prometheus (it looks like it's gonna happen, folks...).

Director Ridley Scott is reportedly preparing a sequel to his blockbusting sci-fi almost-prequel Prometheus which was released in June 2012. This news comes after Prometheus, which was budgeted at $130m, has grossed $303m worldwide, and still has plenty of room for growth. We take a look at what a Prometheus sequel could mean…

We know what you’re thinking. Four original films (all with different directors), two franchise-melding spin-offs in the shape of the Alien Vs Predator fiasco (also with different directors), and one mega-confusing, open-ended, ‘not-a-prequel’ prequel directed by the same man who directed the very first of the original films. Just when we thought the Alien plot couldn’t possibly get any thicker than it already is, Scott (in conjunction with 20th Century Fox) decides to smack us with a sequel to the ‘not-a-prequel’ prequel. Confused? We know we are...

For the rest of the article, head over to Movie Farm 

Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Hopes were sky high for The Dark Knight Rises, the final film in Christopher Nolan's gritty, modern Batman series. Like a Resurrection Man dragging a rotting corpse from the putrid earth, Nolan has pulled the Batman franchise (which we all thought had suffocated under a quagmire of hammy lines and Technicolor tights) back into the shadowy half-light of the cinema screen. Unlike the Resurrection Men, who sold the corpses they acquired to doctors for study and dissection, Nolan has not passed Batman on to a reel of film critics for summary examination and eventual re-burying; he has re-fashioned it, and re-told it, bringing the phoenix out from the ashes in the way that only he could.

Eight years on from the untimely deaths of Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) and Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal), the incarceration of the Joker (Heath Ledger), and the disappearance of the Batman (who has been falsely charged with the murder of Harvey Dent) the city of Gotham would appear to be picking itself up and moving on with its life. Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) has ensconced himself in his mansion, and spends most of his time in a dressing gown, making his way up and down the lonely hallways with the aid of a walking stick. Trouble soon rears its ugly head in the form of Bane, yet another masked man on a mission; he wants to break Gotham down to its component parts and institute a kind of anarchic martial law. With the help of the city's hottest new jewellery thief, Catwoman (Anne Hathaway), Batman flaps his way out of the shadows and back onto the mean streets.

While The Dark Knight was certainly a game-changer, The Dark Knight Rises manages to continue the intensity of its predecessor while upping the emotion. TDKR is a pretty heart-rending film, and never crosses over into mawkishness. The Dark Knight had the explosive death of Rachel Dawes; TDKR has the tragic image of a broken Batman, and the tear-jerking ultimatum offered to Bruce Wayne by his butler and life-long friend Alfred (Michael Caine). Nolan's Batman is one of the very few super-hero franchises that actually succeeds in creating true emotional involvement in the viewer.

This series has never been about focusing in on Batman; one of the greatest strengths of these three films has been excellent ensemble casting. In TDKR, the familiar faces of Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman (as Commissioner Jim Gordon) and Morgan Freeman (as Lucius Fox) are joined by Anne Hathaway, who seems to slot perfectly into the sardonic yet heartfelt role of Catwoman, and Nolan favourites Tom Hardy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (both of whom also starred in Nolan's 2010 film Inception). Tom Hardy plays Bane with a mocking, superior humour which complements the character's extreme strength and political fervour, and manages to emote surprisingly well considering that half his face is encased in what appears to be a metal fist, but it's Joseph Gordon-Levitt who almost steals the show.

Many of us will remember Gordon-Levitt from his stint as Tommy Solomon on the '90s TV show Third Rock From the Sun; like Tom Hardy, in recent years his career has taken off in a big way. In TDKR, he plays John Blake, a plucky young police officer who catches the attention of Jim Gordon and begins to take up his mantle, liaising and bonding with the difficult Batman. Blake is far from being just your generic 'good guy'; he's a great guy. He's a capable lawman who has overcome a difficult childhood (and who is still heavily involved with the home for orphan boys where he grew up). He's clever, funny and tough, but Gordon-Levitt plays him with an acute sense of humanity; his shock at killing two of Bane's men is palpable. Expect even bigger things from this actor in the future.

The film's special effects are spectacular in the literal sense of the word; the mini fighter jet known simply as 'the Bat' is certainly handy for ripping through the night air, and disaster scenes such as the collapsing football field are brilliant in their harrowing reality. Hans Zimmer returns for the soundtrack, his familiar roaring orchestral hooks the perfect backing to the story.

When compared to The Dark Knight, as it inevitably will be (over and over again), The Dark Knight Rises seems to end the trilogy with a whimper rather than a bang. This is not a bad thing; while the second film was more concentrated on the terrifying spree headed up by the Joker (an almost unbelievably good performance from Heath Ledger which many believe played some part in his early demise) the third brings the main focus back onto the internal struggle. To quote Naomi Barnwell's great review over on Movie Farm: 'What do we do when we fall? We rise.'

The Dark Knight Rises is (obviously) a KINOLENS Film of the Moment, and is on general release in the UK.

What the Dickens? Magazine

Just a quick post to clue you into a great online magazine called What the Dickens? It started up in 2011, and is ostensibly a literary/writers magazine, but is really more about creativity in general - writing, art, theatre, film, and so on. At the moment it's only available online for free (or on Kindle for 99p), but the editors are working very hard to get something on tangible paper by the end of the year.

I was contacted by Editor/creator/writer Victoria Bantock a few weeks ago about writing a literature/film based article for the 5th issue, which is out today and is titled 'The Sunflower Edition'. It's packed full of great stuff (including an interview with Miriam Margolyse) and you can have a read through it for free here (I'm on page 87 with a piece about The Hunger Games).

What the Dickens? Magazine also welcomes submissions, so if you'd like to get involved take a look at the Submissions Page.

In other news, I went to see The Dark Knight Rises yesterday - but I'm not going to give away what I thought of it just yet, as when I get a spare hour I'm planning to review it, right here on KINOLENS.

The Dark Knight Rises Shooting: Blaming the Movies

On July 20th 2012, an incident took place at a movie theatre in the town of Aurora, near Denver, Colorado. A man dressed in black protective gear, including a bullet-proof vest, gloves and a gas mask, walked into a late night screening of The Dark Knight Rises and began randomly shooting at the cinema patrons. Reportedly, the gunman set off two devices which released some form of tear gas into the theatre before starting to fire.

According to some of the surviving cinema patrons, the gunman (thought to be James Holmes, a 24 year old medical student who is currently being held by police) started firing during a shootout scene, causing confusion amongst his targets. Ten people were killed in the theatre itself; another two died in nearby hospitals. More than fifty other people were injured.

This terrible happening has sparked upset and anger from many quarters. Some have spoken on the need for greater gun control in the US, while others are concerned with more social issues; we still don’t truly understand why people decide to commit this type of mass murder, or how to prevent them from doing it.

As with many other atrocities committed by young people with guns, the discussion has inevitably turned on cinema itself. This particular gunman’s selection of a film screening for the scene of his crime, as well as his carefully chosen combat attire, is hard to ignore; once again, people are blaming it on the movies...

To read the rest of this article, head over to Movie Farm

Vintage Sirens

I have been slacking off with the blog posts a little recently, for which I apologise, but it's all in a good cause. I have recently nabbed myself some paid employment at a vintage clothing shop in Teddington, South West London. My official title is Internet Assistant, meaning that I will be involved with the running of the shop's website, the soon-to-be created blog and things such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and the like. Although I will be a lot busier, I am still planning to continue with KINOLENS - I've become rather fond of the old girl, after all. However, posts may be sporadic for a while longer until I settle into my new routine.

For the vintage fashion officionados, you can check out the website of the shop, Mela Mela Vintage, here. You can also follow the shop on Twitter @MelaMelaVintage, like us on Facebook, or follow us on Instagram (our username is melamelavintage).

And so that this post isn't completely non film related, here are some of my favourite vintage style inspirations - you'll notice they're all cinema goddesses.

Jane Russell



Kim Novak





Lauren Bacall





Faye Dunaway





Marilyn Monroe

Back to the Future Hoax Strikes Again

The future is now...or is it?

Apologies for the lack of original posts this week (and in general, recently!) - I've just started a new job, which is exciting, but busy (more details about that in a few days). Did you get caught out by the Back to the Future mix-up? I didn't even know it was happening at the time, but I wrote a little something about it for Movie Farm:

Legions of Twitter and Facebook users are a little red-faced this week after falling for a web hoax based on the classic eighties film Back to the Future. An image of the dashboard of the time-travelling DeLorean was widely retweeted and shared across the internet on Wednesday, as it showed the future date chosen by Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) and Marty McFly (Michael J Fox) as June 27th, 2012. In fact, the date shown in the film is 21st October, 2015.

Eagle-eyed fans of the endearing sci-fi were quick to spot the prank, but plenty of other web users were not so observant; the image swiftly went viral, being shared and re-shared thousands of times in just a few hours.

For the rest of the article, click here...

Malevolent Machinery: The 5 Scariest Movie Robots



A young Bilbo Baggins at Space Camp



There’s nothing worse than a piece of evil or malfunctioning machinery. What could be scarier than a machine that is not only crazy enough to turn against humans, but also has superhuman strength and no moral qualms about randomly murdering you and your friends just because it needs a serious virus scan and restart? Especially if said piece of machinery happens to look uncannily like a normal human being? Not much.

The movie Gods worked this one out quite some time ago; almost since the earliest days of cinema, evil androids have been enthralling film fans the world over, thrilling and terrifying by turns. Here are five of the scariest, deadliest robots you will ever find on your screen. Which one terrifies you the most?

To read the top five, head over to Movie Farm...

The Dark Knight Rises Viral Campaign Continues

The Dark Knight Rises, expected to be this summer’s biggest scoring blockbuster, turned its viral marketing campaign up a notch this week with the release of three pages from the Gotham Observer, Gotham City’s daily newspaper (priced at a very reasonable one dollar). Fans of Christopher Nolan’s iconic Batman films have been avidly scanning the pages for any and all clues to the plot of the movie, in which Christian Bale will return as the disgraced superhero vigilante tasked with facing down new arch-enemy Bane (Tom Hardy).

To read my breakdown of the Gotham Observer (and find out what Batman's star sign might be) head over to Movie Farm...

Sex, Lies and Censorship: Last Tango in Paris

Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider, Last Tango in Paris, 1972

Bernardo Bertolucci’s most infamous film, Last Tango In Paris, was premiered at the New York Film Festival on October 14^th, 1972. With its explicit portrayals of violent sex and emotional turbulence, the film instigated a critical uproar. Beginning with walkouts and denunciations, escalating into boycotts and bans, and climaxing in an obscenity trial, the backlash seemed to know no bounds. And yet, even in its earliest reviews, Last Tango In Paris was recognised and commended as a work of cinematic genius. Forty years later, questions are still being asked about the film’s true nature; is it a brilliant psychosexual exploration, or simply a glorified piece of pornography?

You can find the rest of this article at Subtitled Online...

30th Anniversary: Blade Runner

Long before Ridley Scott was making confusing and badly scripted prequels, he was conjuring up one of my favourite films of all time; Blade Runner. Based on the Philip K Dick novel, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Blade Runner was first released in the USA exactly thirty years ago today on the 25th of June, 1982 (in the UK, it was released on the 9th of September, 1982). In honour of this auspicious occasion, I'm going to take a quick look at a few of the things that make it so good.

Neo-Noir

Blade Runner is set in 2019, a mere seven years into our own future. Billed as both a science fiction and an action film, it is in fact (like Scott's Alien) a chilling combination of the two. However, what made the film so unique was the added genre ingredient of neo-noir. Neo-noir draws inspiration from the classic 40s/50s film noir genre, famous for hardboiled detectives, femme fatales, chiaroscuro lighting and lots of booze, sex and cigarette smoke. Blade Runner has all of these and more, adding a glossy yet gritty layer of cinematic goodness to what would otherwise have been a rather different style of sci-fi.



Swirling cigarette smoke and shadowy Venetians are just a
couple of the neo-noir touches to be found in Blade Runner



More Human than Human

Androids are robots that look like humans. Whole books have been written about why we are fixated on building exact machine replicas of ourselves, and they are full of intriguing and complex psychological concepts - but we don't have the time to go into all that here. Cinema is replete with 'human-looking robots' - mostly because they are very easy to construct and film, what with them looking exactly like normal humans and all. Ridley Scott explored the idea of the indistinguishable android in 1979's Alien; in Blade Runner he takes it to the next level. Replicants, as they are known, are so close to being human that it is impossible to tell the difference without strenuous testing. The Nexus 6 Replicants, which our anti-hero Deckard (Harrison Ford) is hired to 'retire', have begun to think for themselves. On a mission to extend their four year life spans, they team up to kill their way to the answer using their enviable strength and fighting skills. Forget the Terminator; never have androids been so cool, or so deadly.

Pris, 'your basic pleasure model'

Roy Batty

"If only you could see what I've seen with your eyes."

"Quite an experience to live in fear isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave."

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die."

Roy Batty - machine, murderer, madman and philosopher

Played by Rutger Hauer, Roy Batty is the leader of the Nexus 6 Replicants. Technically, he's the bad guy - but even though he's a machine, a murderer, and deranged, we find ourselves starting to sympathise with his cause; all Roy wants to do is to keep himself and his friends alive. Rather than blaming Roy for his crimes, we start to blame ourselves - after all, we were the ones who created Roy; we gave him the ability to think and feel (or at least, to 'think' that he is 'feeling'), and then slapped him with a four year year life span. That's why he goes around breaking fingers, crushing skulls, and philosophising while he's at it.

Review: Daughters of Darkness

Daughters Of Darkness is a classic of 1970s horror, fusing together vampires, lesbianism and gender issues. It is strongly reminiscent of other vivid horror from the same era, such as Dario Argento’s Suspiria and Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now. The film stars Delphine Seyrig, an actress best known for her role in Alan Resnais’ surreal Last Year In Marienbad.

Stefan (John Karlen) and Valerie (Daniel Ouimet) are a young, attractive, newly-married couple on their way to a seaside resort in Belgium. They stay at a deserted luxury hotel in the off-season. Reading the newspaper, they discover that a series of murders have taken place nearby – three young women have been found with their throats slashed...

...The film opens on a train speeding through the night. The couple’s carriage is drenched with an eerie purple light, and the screeching electronic soundtrack mirrors the screeching of the train. The stage is set for the almost invasively lurid colour scheme and unusual music which saturate the entirety of the film. Accompanied by cleverly timed synthesized sounds, almost every scene is awash with vibrant colours...

For the whole review, head over to Subtitled Online...

Review: Titanic (Blu-Ray)

Apologies for the lack of posts this week; I've been a bit preoccupied with other projects (more news on this later). However, here is a review I wrote for Movie Farm of Titanic, which is to receive a rather grand Blu-Ray/Special Edition DVD release later on this year (I'm pretty proud of the intentionally awful pun in the third paragraph).

If, after fifteen years, eleven academy awards, a worldwide gross of over $2 billion, multiple DVD editions and one 3D re-release, you still haven’t had enough of James Cameron’s epic disaster film Titanic, then consider yourself lucky – the Blu-ray release of the watery romance is set for September 14th, 2012. Taking this auspicious occasion into account, here is our review of a movie that was, for twelve years (until Cameron’s other epic romance Avatar knocked it off its pedestal), the highest grossing film in the history of cinema.

For the rest of the review, head over to Movie Farm...

The Birth of British Cinema

Cinema, in the form we would recognise today, was born in France in the 1880s. That makes it well over a century old. In the years since, cinema has changed many times. Practically every decade has brought a new and exciting upheaval; the switch from silent to sound, and from black and white to colour; the advent of 3D, CGI, digital and motion capture. Film is an art form that, although it stays essentially the same, is constantly evolving alongside new trends, new ideas and new technology. But what about the way that viewers actually watch films? Has how we experience films evolved too? Or, when we purchase our cinema tickets and sit in a movie theatre in the 21st century, is the whole experience still pretty much the same as it was one hundred years ago?

For the rest of the article, head over to Movie Farm

Review: Moonrise Kingdom

Wes Anderson's latest quirky masterpiece is set in 1965 on a small island off the coast of New England. A young orphan scout named Sam, and a strange, isolated girl named Suzy fall in love and deside to run away together. Their trip across the island causes havoc in the small community; Scout Master Ward (Edward Norton), Captain Sharp (Bruce Willis), and Suzy's lawyer parents Walt and Laura (Bill Murray and Frances McDormand), as well as the rest of Sam's scouting troop, all get involved in the search with hilarious, disastrous and delightful consequences.

As always with Wes Anderson films (other examples include The Royal Tenenbaums and The Darjeeling Limited) what is actually happening in the film takes a massive backseat to how it is happening, and what it looks like. While making sure that the mise en scene is recognisably 'sixties', Anderson has also given everything an incredibly clean-cut, stylised and almost cartoonish aesthetic. The central position of the camera in relation to objects often gives scenes a surreal symmetry that is both jarring and pleasing to the human eye; we are unused to seeing such balance of proportion, and yet it carries a certain visual satisfaction. Anderson is certainly a director who knows better than most how to make use of space to convey meaning.

Moonrise Kingdom is also funny, but not the sort of funny that is easy to describe to someone later on. There are no recognisable 'jokes' in the film, but every scene has the potential for laughter. Most of the film's meaning is to be found in the visuals, and this is also true of the comedy; understated visual gags abound. However, it's the deadpan delivery and slightly militarised acting style (more Anderson signatures) that saturate every line with just the right amount of pithy brevity. The two main child actors, Kara Hayward and Jared Gilman, lead the way with remarkable restraint, but still manage to retain the all-important childlike attitude needed to make their romance the charming centrepiece it is meant to be. The rest of the ensemble function delightfully together under the deadpan banner; Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand and Bill Murray make for amusingly angsty adults attempting to deal with the fallout of the children's actions.

Whether it was intentional or not, there was something about this film that kept reminding me of Anthony Schaffer's The Wicker Man. Ostensibly, the two films couldn't be more different, but similarities do exist which make them comparable: they are both set on small islands in enclosed communities where everybody knows each other; they both revolve around a missing child or children; they are both full of the repeated image of humans dressed as animals, and there is a vague, uneasy sense of being an outsider looking in at a society which we will never understand or be a part of. However, you will be pleased to know that, unlike The Wicker Man, the denouement of Moonrise Kingdom involves no grisly ritual murder whatsoever (in fact, it borders on the rather charmingly quaint).

The overall style of an Anderson film is far from being everbody's cup of tea. Anderson has been around for long enough now that those who enjoy his style of filmmaking know that they enjoy it and will accordingly turn up at the theatres for it; those who do not share his sense of humour, or appreciate his particular visual style, know to simply stay away from his films (and, of course, there are still many out there who have never even come across him at all). Even among those who love his films, it's a very rare Anderson fan who has good words to say for them all - most have at least one they dislike, or that they feel doesn't quite sit well alongside the others (most of this is usually directed at The Darjeeling Limited which, perversely, happens to be my favourite of his films), but this never boils over into outright hatred or hostility. It's very hard to work up any real hatred for a film by a director who can put a rug and a table-lamp in a tent.

And, there's a very cute kitten in it as well.

Green Light for Snow White Sequel

Fans of the recent fairy tale renaissance will be glad to hear that the wait for their next instalment of magical mayhem will not be a long one. Universal Studios have opted to fast-track the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman, which is quickly becoming one of this summer’s biggest blockbusting hits.

With a US opening weekend gross of over $55 million, it’s hardly surprising that the studio have been so quick to green light a follow-up. Stars Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth have both been optioned for a further two films and it looks as though the story of Snow White and her Huntsman is far from over...

For the rest of the article, head over to Movie Farm...

Review: Carancho

This is the first Monday for a month and a half which will not include a Game of Thrones related post - at first I was glad, because writing at length about Game of Thrones every week was getting a bit exhausting. But now that it comes down to it, I think I'm going to miss it. Still, we only have to wait until next Spring for series three (hopefully), when the whole nail biting cycle will start all over again.

Meanwhile, here is a review of Pablo Trapero's Carancho I wrote for Subtitled Online.

Carancho, or The Vulture, is a crime thriller from award-winning Argentine director Pablo Trapero. Trapero’s debut feature, Crane World, an examination of a man dealing with life after losing his job, was acclaimed throughout Europe and sparked a regeneration of Argentine cinema. Carancho was Argentina’s official entry for the Best Foreign Language Film category at the 83rd Academy Awards, but it failed to make the shortlist...

For the rest of the review, head over to Subtitled Online 

Amy Grimehouse Presents... Tod Browning's Freaks

On Wednesday night I went to Amy Grimehouse Presents... Tod Browning's Freaks at the Book Club in Shoreditch. Having never seen the wonderfully sickening Freaks (1932) before, I think this was the best possible way to be introduced to it. The screening was held in the basement bar of the Book Club, a great little hole which has lightbulbs stuck on every inch of the ceiling, and was preceded by a Design-Your-Own Freak competition (our team's effort is below) and a Freaks based pub quiz (we came second and got a free drink each).



Before the film actually began, we were treated to the classic Drive-in movie countdown, which American readers might remember from their younger days (video below) and a couple of Betty Boop cartoons, one of which she blacked up in (!).

Then came the feature presentation - Freaks is a pre-code horror film which tells the story of a group of sideshow performers. A beautiful trapeze artist tricks the leader of the sideshow into marrying her - she's actually after his substantial inheritance. When the rest of the sideshow performers find out, they hatch a plot to get revenge on the 'normals'. Freaks is an enthralling, controversial and spine-chilling film, banned in the UK for 30 years and effectively ruining Browning's career. He probably thought it was worth it, though.

Amy Grimehouse Presents... are also going to be hosting special screenings of Showgirls and a double bill of Carrie and The Shining in the near future.

Review: Prometheus

The wait is finally over; Ridley Scott's Alien prequel Prometheus (and it is a prequel, no matter what he says) hit UK cinemas last Friday. The film isn't nearly as terrifying as the trailers made it seem, but it is certainly an interesting and well executed re-imagining of the origins of the Alien, and of the human race...

A group of archaelogists, geologists, astronauts and corporate types head off into space aboard the good ship Prometheus, bound for an obscure and far away solar system, drawings of which have mysteriously cropped up in ancient cave paintings on Earth. They have no idea what they will find, but the theory is that the human race did not evolve from apes, nor were we created by God, but in fact, we were 'engineered' by an Alien species and then dumped onto planet Earth.

Upon arrival at their destination planet, which has been given the snappy name of LV-426 (those of you who are fans of the franchise will of course be familiar with that name - that planet should have a flashing neon sign on it) they discover a vast cavernous complex built by the Engineers, who are the 'space jockey' species from the first film - although underneath their weird helmets they look almost human and, as scientist Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) discovers, they share our DNA. However, they all appear to have been wiped out by something - and nobody knows what. Luckily, none of our space adventurers is a chronic geek and/or film fan - if they had been, they would have left LV-426 immediately at this point, and we would have had no movie.

While exploring the complex, our heroes discover a bunch of metal, egg-like objects containing some intriguing-looking goo. David (Michael Fassbender), your friendly neighbourhood android, helpfully collects one of the 'eggs' and brings it back to the ship (flashing neon sign). Meanwhile, two other crew members have got themselves lost in the complex, and one of their probes starts to malfunction - it begins to pick up a life form, but that's impossible, seeing as the planet is deserted apart from the human crew (FLASHING NEON SIGN). From then on, gloriously sickening slimy CGI hell breaks loose on LV-426...

Prometheus is most certainly an Alien film. All the classic pieces are there: the tough, spunky heroine; the mysterious alien planet; the cold, clinical robot; the evil corporation stirring things up; the invasive, infectious, penetrative nature of the danger, and some true body-horror that makes everyone in the audience (especially the women) want to spend the rest of their lives gritting their teeth while crunched into the tightest foetal position humanly possible. Combining the origins of the Alien with the quest for the origins of our own species is a stroke of genius, and I'll try not to spoil it for you, but once the true beginning of the Alien species is revealed, it seems horrifying - yet expected.

The CGI is very good, but not too spectacular - this seems intentional, and is perhaps an attempt to continue the 'truckers in space' look from the first film (which was also directed by Scott). Even so, the Alien films were never really meant to be huge action blockbusters - they were meant to be what Alfred Hitchcock would have come up with if he'd ever got around to setting a film in space, or gritty war films full of grunts fighting for their lives. Even 'not too spectacular' CGI seems like overkill, and overshadows characterisation and drama. Only a few of the characters in the group are given any true depth - and even then some of it misfires (we could have done without Shaw's possible Christianity, for instance).

One character who really stands out is Michael Fassbender's David. He makes for a truly unsettling android, with no moral qualms and some heartless research methods - he's also obsessed with the film Lawrence of Arabia, a wonderfully clever touch of humanity. Guy pearce also deserves an honourable mention for his great performance as Peter Weyland, even though he is hampered by some ridiculous facial putty to make him look about a billion years old.

People expecting a homage to Alien will be disappointed by Prometheus, as will people expecting a terrifying horror film, and probably most hardcore fans of the franchise who were hoping that Prometheus would save the series from itself. However, if you go into the cinema expecting to see what is probably the best film that Ridley Scott has directed since Gladiator, along with some spine-chilling body horror, some interesting philosophical concepts and a few juicy references to a film you may have enjoyed in the past, you will come out again without feeling that you have wasted your Odeon Premiere points.

*UPDATE* After some thought, several strange discrepancies present in Prometheus have forced me to revise my opinion of the film somewhat. Apparently the planet they are on is not LV-426, but LV-223, which completely passed me by. This clears up some plot-holes, but creates a whole load more. Basically, the script of Prometheus is so complex and badly written that a single viewing is not nearly enough to be able to comprehend it.

Game of Thrones | Season Two, Episode Ten: Valar Morghulis

SPOILERS

So, we've finally come to end of the second season of Game of Thrones - and, in keeping with the style of the first series, they've taken it all away from us just when it was starting to get really, really good. Last week's episode, The Battle of the Blackwater, may well have been the massive showdown that this entire series was leading up to, but as far as tension, excitement and pure visceral terror goes, Valar Morghulis trounces the Blackwater every time.

Following the battle, Tyrion is very badly wounded and languishing helpless in a cramped room in the Red Keep. He has been shunted aside by his father Tywin, who has shown up to take his place as King's Hand. Although he is badly hurt, has an ugly scar across his face, and is in pretty much the most dire situation he's been in since his arrival in King's Landing (even though it was his smart thinking that basically saved the city), he refuses Shae's offer to run away to Pentos, saying that he wants to stay in King's Landing because he belongs there - and for the love of the Game.

Sansa is happy for about five seconds after it is decided by the council that Joffrey will not marry her after all - instead he will be married to Margaery Tyrell (Renly's widow, and Loras's sister) in order to join the Lannisters (it's pointless to call them the Baratheons, I think we can all agree) to the power of Highgarden. While she may be free of actually having to marry the sadistic inbred munchkin, Littlefinger is quick to remind her that she will still be under Joffrey's power - and Joffrey is a total psycho. Littlefinger offers to help her escape - but come on, this is Littlefinger we're talking about; you just know he's not doing this out of the kindness of his heart.

In various other corners of the realm, Brienne is still dragging an increasingly filthy-looking Jaime Lannister towards King's Landing in the hope of trading him for Sansa and Arya. She is forced to kill three Northmen who make the mistake of recognising Jaime. Against the advice of his mother, Robb marries Talisa, which is sure to piss off Walder Frey no end, as Robb was supposed to be betrothed to one of his daughters - something tells me that one's going to come back to bite him pretty soon. Stannis blames Melisandre and her Fire God for his loss at the battle of the Blackwater, but she convinces him that he is in fact the embodiment of the Fire God on Earth (which surely can't be true - somehow I don't think Stannis Baratheon is Westeros's answer to Jesus Christ) and that the war will eventually be won by him.

Theon is still whining away at Winterfell, surrounded by a force of Northmen. Aemon suggests he joins the Night's Watch, where all his past sins will be forgiven and forgotten (yeah, right), but Theon elects to fight instead. He gives a really quite rousing battle speech - even people that pretty much hate Theon and the Greyjoys will be impressed - even so, his own men knock him out and offer him to the Starks to save their own skins. Winterfell is burned to the ground in the process, and Maester Aemon is mortally wounded. Bran, Rickon, Hodor and Osha emerge from the crypt to find the devastation - Aemon, who they find dying slowly in the Godswood, advises them to head North to find Jon; going South would be too dangerous. Osha puts Aemon out of his misery and, re-united with Summer and Shaggydog, they set off.

Arya is still wandering in the wilderness with Hot Pie and Gendry after escaping from Harrenhal with the help of the mysterious Jaqen. She meets up with Jaqen for one final time, upon which he reveals to her that he is in fact one of the Faceless Men, an order of brilliant assassins. He gives her a coin, and tells her that should she ever need to find him again, she should give it to any man from Braavos and say the words 'Valar Morghulis' - all men must die. Then he cleverly shapeshifts into a completely different man, before going on his merry way. North of the wall, Jon Snow (who is still in the hands of the Wildlings) kills his fellow captive Quorin Halfhand in a clever but fatal ploy to ensure that the Wildlings come to trust him.

In the best scenes of the episode, Dany enters the House of the Undying to get back her dragons. The building is a kind of psychic labyrinth; Dany wanders through the King's Landing throne room, out past the Wall, and into a tent where she meets up with Drogo (her dead husband) and Rhaego (her dead son). It's not clear whether this is a trick on the part of the Warlocks, or whether she is actually communing with her dead family - or maybe a bit of both - but Dany recognises that she can't stay. She chooses her dragons over remaining with Drogo, then burns the place down and Pyat Pree with it. Upon returning to the house of Xaro, she finds him in bed with her supposedly-missing-presumed-dead handmaiden. After discovering that Xaro's vault of riches is actually completely empty, Dany has him and her faithless handmaiden locked inside it to die, while she takes all of his possessions in order to buy a ship to get her to Westeros.

In the spectacular final scene, Sam, Pyp and Grenn are performing their duties at the Fist of the First Men, when suddenly they hear three blasts on a horn. One blast means rangers returning, two blasts mean a Wildling attack - but three blasts mean they're about to be set upon by an army of the undead. And, sure enough, a fair few frozen blue-eyed dead guys turn up to join in the fun.

Something tells me the third season is going to be titled Game of Thrones: You Ain't Seen Nuthin Yet.

Episode Ten Best Moment: Tie - Dany in the House of the Undying/Sam coming face to face with a Wight

Episode Ten Best Line: "I'm a monster as well as a dwarf. You should charge me double." - Tyrion

Review: Snow White and the Huntsman

From first-time director Rupert Sanders comes Snow White and the Huntsman, a dark, CGI-filled fairy-tale update which verges on being an action blockbuster. Starring Twilight’s Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth (AKA Thor) and the Oscar-winning Charlize Theron, the film is a rip-roaring tale of war and magic – with just a tiny bit of romance thrown in...

For the whole review, head over to Movie Farm...

Sundance London: Capsule Reviews

I recently attended the first ever Sundance London (you can read my Movie Farm article on the festival here). Out of the fourteen films that were screened, I saw ten - here are my quick capsule reviews of the films I saw, along with some photos I took of the O2 during the festival.

(Lots of women at Sundance this year - I guess that's the answer to the Cannes question; they're not in Competition in France because half of them are in the US making indie flicks - which Cannes doesn't really cater for).

An Oversimplification of Her Beauty (Terence Nance)

A short film extended into a feature length documentary (with some cool animation) in the form of a deep and meticulous self-examination. Nance explores his own romantic relationships (one in particular) in an experimental, fragmentary, and slightly pretentious way. A bit heavy-going, but quite intriguing - almost stream-of-consciousness cinema.

Finding North (Kristi Jacobson, Lori Silverbush)

Revealing documentary about the issue of hunger/the poverty line in the USA (the world's richest country). Considering the sheer amount of cheap food there is in America, it seems impossible to believe that there are millions of people living there who don't have enough to eat. This documentary examines the problems inherent in the US social system in detail - interesting stuff, and well made.

The Queen of Versailles (Lauren Greenfield)

The was the opener for the Sundance Festival in Utah earlier this year (Greenfield also won the best director award). Gripping doc about billionaire couple Jackie and David Siegel, who attempt to build a 90,000 square foot mansion in the style of the palace of Versailles, only to fall foul of the recession. A lot of the appeal of this film is just the opportunity to gawk at these super-rich weirdos, but beneath that is an undercurrent of doom concerning the current financial crisis.

Safety Not Guaranteed (Colin Trevollow)

This was probably the best dramatic film I saw at the festival (although For Ellen was hard on its heels). Three journalists track down a man who placed a classfied ad for people to go time-travelling with him (based on a real advert, would you believe!). A charming, heartwarming comedy which is also delightfully deadpan, with a perfectly executed denouement. Will leave you grinning for hours, if not days.

Nobody Walks (Ry Russo-Young)

A family takes a young female filmmaker into their home, only for her to inadvertantly become a spanner in the works. Honestly, I was quite bored by this film - it's clearly supposed to be a stark portrait of human interaction, as well the East Coast US lifestyle, but it doesn't have much depth in either characters or plot, nor is it that interesting visually - the use of sound is pretty good (one of the characters is a sound/foley artist), but that's about it.

For Ellen (So Yong Kim)

Paul Dano stars as a struggling musician on a road trip to fight his estranged wife for custody of their daughter (whom he has never met). The film concentrates almost solely on Dano's character, making him the focal point through which the audience experiences the story. He is a truly great actor, with more than enough skill to carry this off. Sparse, subtle, and moving - this one was brilliant.

The House I Live In (Eugene Jarecki)

Jarecki explores the devastating effect that the so-called 'war on drugs' has had on the US in this important and fascinating doc. The startling facts are set out clearly and uncompromisingly, illustrating how the US judicial system has in fact worsened America's drug problems to an insane degree.

Chasing Ice (Jeff Orlowski)

This was the best of the documentaries I saw (and it had some pretty stiff competition). The film follows photographer James Balog and his project Extreme Ice Survey, which has documented the melting of glaciers through time-lapse photography. The images are amazing, and so is the science - anyone who is still sceptical about climate change will have to strongly resist the urge to take themselves out of the gene pool after seeing this film.

LUV (Sheldon Candis)

A simple, emotional film about a young boy's relationship with his criminal uncle. This film promised more than it could deliver - unlike For Ellen, which causes the viewer to connect emotionally through charged and understated scenes, LUV takes your emotional response for granted, and so doesn't bother to truly get you involved. Quite a ripping story, with some good performances, but nothing special.

Filly Brown (Youssef Delara, Michael D. Olmos)

Female LA street poet Majo gets into trouble when she starts making it big in the music world. Some good performances in this one too, especially from Gina Rodriguez (who learned to rap for the film), but again the emotional side of it was out of whack. It was pretty mawkish throughout, and by the end it was a sticky puddle of soppiness on the floor of the Sky Superscreen.


To finish off, here are my own personal KINOLENS Jury Awards:

Best Overall Film: For Ellen, Chasing Ice (Tie)

Best Documentary: Chasing Ice

Best Dramatic film: Safety Not Guaranteed

Best Performance: Paul Dano

Best Director: Eugene Jarecki

Game of Thrones | Season 2, Episode 9: The Battle of the Blackwater

SPOILERS

The Battle of the Blackwater - the whole of Season Two has been building up to this one, so you know it's going to be good. Rather than jumping around between different characters, different storylines and different cities, the whole of episode nine is concentrated solely on King's Landing as Stannis rolls up with his fleet. They arrive in the middle of the night, meaning that the battle is deliciously dark and shadowy, and the outcome completely uncertain - the two armies are pretty evenly matched... but, don't forget, the Lannisters are the ones with the Wildfire.

We begin with Davos Seaworth on the prow of his ship as it sails into Blackwater Bay. Pretty soon, all the bells in King's Landing start ringing to warn the citizens of the coming battle. The knights and soldiers all rush to put on their armour and make for the city walls - this includes Tyrion 'Halfman' Lannister, and King Joffrey himself, who seems to relish the idea of a slaughter, forcing Sansa to kiss his new sword (named Hearteater) before he goes into battle, promising her that when he returns she will kiss it again, and taste the blood of Stannis. Sansa (who is getting pretty clever at the subdued yet cutting remarks) puts him in his place with a few choice words, slyly insinuating that Joffrey won't be anywhere near the real fighting (he's too craven for a start, and too important to the realm).

Sansa and Shae then head to Queen Cersei's hidey-hole, where she has gathered all the important women of the court and their maids. Pycelle has given Cersei a bottle of poison, which she will use to top herself should the city fall. She also keeps the headsman Ser Ilyn Payne close at hand, a swift beheading being better than rape and torture for the noblewomen. Cersei spends most of the night hitting the bottle pretty hard and winding up Sansa (who does a pretty good job of keeping her cool).

Outside, the battle plan is put into action by Tyrion, who has masterminded the whole affair along with Varys. A single ship is sent out to greet Stannis's fleet, causing much confusion. It transpires that the ship is a decoy, empty of soldiers and full of the foul green Wildfire. In what is the most spectacular scene of the episode (and probably the series), Tyrion orders the boat set alight with fire arrows. For those of you who missed the meeting, Wildfire is incredibly flammable - in fact, it's virtually nuclear. The explosion takes out pretty much the whole of the fleet and sets alight to Blackwater Bay, leaving the majority of Stannis's men screaming, writhing and dying.

Things are looking good for the Lannisters, until Stannis orders his land army (which is substantial, by the looks of things) to start attacking the walls. The Hound does his best to drive them off, but being that he's terrified of fire (having had half his face burnt off by his brother Gregor when he was a child) he throws in the towel, tells Joffrey where to stick it, and storms off. The Lannisters start to see that they're losing the battle - Lancel runs to Cersei to let her know, and she promptly orders him to bring her darling Joffrey back inside the Red Keep. Joffrey is only too glad to have an excuse to get away from the battle, leaving Tyrion to take over the defense. Of course, he rises to the occasion, giving a rousing battle speech and riding out behind Stannis's men in order to 'fuck them in the arse', as he puts it.

All seems to be going well, until a helmeted knight (who looks to be a Lannister bannerman) deliberately socks Tyrion round the face with a sword, leaving him alive, but reeling, and with a nasty scar that will ache something awful come Winter (and Winter is coming). It looks as though the Lannisters are about to be overwhelmed by Stannis. Cersei leaves the comfort of her underground chamber and makes for the throne room with her son Tommen. On the advice of Shae, Sansa too flees to her bedroom, only to find the Hound waiting for her. He offers to take her away with him, to escort her home to Winterfell, but she refuses.

In the throne room, Cersei tells Tommen a comforting story while she prepares to poison them both. Unfortunately, before they can drink the Kool-Aid, the doors burst open and a whole heap of soldiers pour in. Luckily for the Lannisters, it's Tywin who is at the head of this force - he has shown up in the nick of time to crush the remnants of Stannis's army. 'We have won!' he says, just in case anyone wasn't sure, and all is right with Westeros - for the Lannisters, anyway. Stannis runs off with his tail between his legs, and Blackwater bay is full of burning carcasses and sinking ships.

Next week's episode (titled 'The Clean-up Operation) will be the last in Season Two - and likely as not, we'll have to wait another year before Season Three comes along. For most television shows, the Third Season is oft-titled 'the difficult' Third Season, and can sometimes make or break a programme. Luckily for HBO, they have a fantastic readymade script in the form of George R. R. Martin's novels - and take it from me, the third book is totally mental, in the best way. Things can only get better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) in Westeros.

Episode 9 Best Moment: The Wildfire.

Episode 9 Best Line: Anything said by the Hound (Tyrion's rousing battle speech is pretty good too).

Game of Thrones | Episode Ten: Valar Morghulis