Sunday, 25 September 2011

Hold Onto Your Butts...

Rereleasing movies is a hot issue - at least, one would imagine it to be a very hot issue in some head offices. I'd like to have been a fly on the wall of the boardroom in which this latest rerelease decision was made; I can just imagine a load of frowning guys in suits trawling through lists of popular movies, wracking their brains over which one would make them the largest possible amount of money if it were once again to be made available to the masses in supersize form. And then, suddenly, one guy spots a promising title out of the corner of his eye; he searches back up the list, before finally alighting on Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park. A strange, crazy glint of light appears in his eyes, as one by one his colleagues stop shuffling their papers and turn to him, both excited and unnerved by his manic expression.

"Gentlemen," he says. "I think I've got it."

There is a pregnant pause. And then;

"Jurassic Park."

There is a stunned silence as the magnitude of the suggestion makes its way around the table in a Mexican wave of synergistic telepathy, until finally it reaches the chairman. All eyes upon him, he shifts slightly in his seat. A note of unease enters the atmosphere, as all wait to see whether the idea will be raised to a pedestal, or nailed to a cross. Finally:

"Jones," the chairman says, eyeing his surbordinate. "You'll be made regional manager for this."

He favours Jones with an awed stare of approval, as the rest of the besuited men cheer, rip off their ties and start planning their next month long trip to Monaco. Jones meanwhile, sits quietly, not quite believing what he has just achieved.

In truth of course, it didn't happen that way at all. Jurassic Park has only been rereleased because it will very soon come out on blu ray. But surely even if this were not the case, it would have been a damn good decision anyway. Especially seeing as the movie has not been majorly changed at all (why mess with perfection), so we are not faced with a hideous, Star Wars-esque 'Godless abomination', as Amy McGoldrick put it. No, it's still the same old Jurassic Park, only bigger, louder and much much scarier; you can really appreciate the significance of being inside a car which is getting beaten to shit by a T Rex when you're watching it take place on a screen as high as five double decker buses. Not to mention the surround sound; I wouldn't be surprised if people walking past the BFI IMAX this weekend thought there was a freak earthquake going on.

Jurassic Park is only getting a very short release, so if you're desperate to see it, I'd get a move on and spare no expense.

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