Yesterday afternoon I was in the middle of writing a Top Ten list of the best characters in the films of Pedro Almodovar. I decided to take a break for a few minutes and logged onto Twitter, where I was surprised to find that while I'd taken my eye off the ball for an hour or so, the iconic Spanish director had mysteriously died.
This was according to a tweet from an account supposedly belonging to Spanish finance minister, Cristobal Montoro, which stated simply "Spanish government announces the death of Pedro Almodovar". The sad news was then retweeted all across the interwebs, with many claiming to be in tears as they mourned the death of the great director.
I spent a frantic minute or so searching for more information, before it finally became clear that both the account and the tweet were fakes. Wherever Almodovar was at that moment, he was alive and kicking, and probably also filming something involving tranvestites, transsexuals, prostitutes, or all of the above.
In retrospect, everybody should have known immediately that it was a fake. The original tweet only uses 61 out of a possible 140 characters. I think if I was tasked with announcing the death of Pedro Almodovar on Twitter, I'd use all the space possible - something along the lines of "The government regrets to announce death of auteur Pedro Almodovar in a freak boating incident. Naked teens are covering his corpse in roses."
And even so, Almodovar can't die. Just take a look at the bastard. Sometimes you hear a rumour of someone's death, say Whitney Houston or Amy Winehouse, and you don't even think to question it. When you hear a rumour of Pedro Almodovar's death, the first thing you think (after "Oh God, what will become of us all?") is "Bullshit. There's another victim of the Social Network Slasher if ever I saw one."
Other famous victims have included Eddie Murphy, Justin Bieber and Adam Sandler. To be honest, I think the news of Almodovar's possible demise excited more sadness than all three of those put together (although now that I think of it, can you imagine if Justin Bieber suddenly died? What would the Beliebers do? They'd either kill themselves or everyone else. Let's hope for the former; I wouldn't want to have to fight off an army of hysterical Beliebers. They'd cut us down like corn).
Anyway. Almodovar is alive and all is right in the jungle.