Monday, 7 May 2012

Game of Thrones | Season 2, Episode 6: The Old Gods and the New


It's all go this week in Game of Thrones; that rat-faced turncoat Theon Greyjoy has rocked up to Winterfell (which is currently being stewarded by a crippled ten-year-old boy) and stolen it from under the nose of King Robb. Not only that, he has also lopped off Ser Rodrik's head for having the temerity to fight back. Theon's no Eddard Stark though - no clean icy sweep for him - he takes several tries before finally hacking Rodrik into two pieces. Needless to say, Robb is none too pleased when he hears the news, and plans to have his men take Winterfell back from Theon, capture him, question him, and then probably kill him.

Lord Tywin is still hanging out at Harrenhal, slowly plotting something while Arya serves his wine. This week, Littlefinger shows up to discuss how to deal with the Tyrell situation; turns out that now Renly is dead, the Tyrells have the third largest force in the kingdom (after the Lannisters and the Starks) so there is much speculation about whose side they will join (if any). As we know, Littlefinger is a sharp dude, so it seems likely that he may have recognised Arya - but, if he has, he doesn't give anything away. Arya uses the second of her three free kills from Jaqen to croak Ser Amory, one of Tywin's bannermen, who is about to out her to Tywin after catching her with some stolen battle plans - Jaqen pops him with a poison dart just in the nick of time.

In King's Landing, Myrcella is packed off weeping to Dorne, where she will be fostered and then betrothed to a Dornish nobleman. Cersei is far from pleased, and threatens Tyrion with the murder of his loved ones. On their way back into the castle, a member of the starving peasantry makes the mistake of throwing some dung at Joffrey, who immediately calls for the murder of everyone present (reasonable young fellow that he is). This sparks a riot, in which the royal family only just make it to safety. Tyrion gives Joffrey a slap in the face for acting like a dumbass, and Sansa is dragged off into an alleyway to be raped by three slavering commoners, but is saved just in time by the Hound.

Across the Narrow Sea in Qarth, Dany is making the rounds to all the rich merchants, begging them for ships, but to no avail. To be fair, her threats of 'fire and blood' do seem a little ridiculous, even if she does have three baby dragons. And, horror of horrors, when she arrives back at her quarters with Xaro, she finds her Dothraki murdered and her dragons gone. Robb is still chasing after Lady Talisa, aka the battlefield nurse he met the other week - but his mother reminds him he is engaged to one of Lord Frey's daughters as part of their earlier agreement (Frey has about fifty daughters to choose from, each of them apparently more hideous than the last).

North of the Wall, Jon and his brothers at last come upon the Wildling scouts, but one of them turns out to be a woman called Ygritte. A sucker for a redhead, Jon offers to kill her. His brothers leave him to it, but he messes it up, leading to a chase through the Frostfangs before he finally captures her again. Now he's lost his nerve for killing her, but he has also lost his brothers - meaning that he is stuck in the freezing mountains, alone with a Wildling woman (something tells me his Night's Watch vows aren't going to last long in sub-zero temperatures)

Back at Winterfell, Osha ingratiates herself with Theon, but really this is only a ruse (which Theon is, of course, stupid enough to fall for) so that she, Bran, Rickon, Hodor, Summer and Shaggydog can all sneak out of Winterfell in the dead of night, presumably heading to join up with Robb's army. In other words, it's all going wrong for almost everybody this week. All bets are off on who's going to die next, but I'd quite like to see Robb wipe the grin off Theon's face - and then preferably the head off his shoulders, too.

Episode 6 Best Moment - The beheading of Ser Rodrik - gruesome.

Episode 6 Best Line - 'I'm no ordinary woman. My dreams come true" - Dany

Game of Thrones | Episode 7: A Man Without Honour

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